At first I felt like I was on a rollercoaster - England, family, friends, cold, Christmas, being single - all merging with the sights, experiences, feelings and lessons that I have learnt while away and which I'm still learning from.
I'm now experiencing a yo-yo effect of trying to balance being back and wanting to go back, my life here and all the amazing people and places I met while away.
It's all too easy to be swept back up in the western rush of life, pressures to defines oneself by our careers and preconceived notions of self.
I do keep hitting on a recurrent theme in my musings and that is; time.
Time to process, time to think, time to absorb and time to be just me.
It's tricky... but hopefully it will get easier and I will find that balance and possibly even a plane ticket....
I focused for the first time on myself and the 'now'. Everything that had gone before was wiped from my mind.
I feel I have changed, creating a better understanding of life and a deeper understanding of human beings. I was lacking this clarity before through denial of my own emotions as well as those of others, believing that strength came from dismissal, duty and a 'just get on with it' attitude.
It is good to laugh everyday, but not to use humour to hide from one's true emotions and those of others.
We all look for happiness and success, I understand this now, these are the founding principles of Being and connect all humankind.
Happiness by being present in the Now, with a quietened mind. Successful in anything you choose to do - be that raising children, communicating, breathing - anything.
Everyday should be a mindful affirmation of yourself and a choice to love others. This should never be expected or taken for granted, but given freely through choice.
America awakened my mind,
Fiji unlocked it,
Australia tested it,
Singapore cemented it.
Tame the monkey that is your mind.
Cars everywhere, shiny and new. People on phones, rushing here and there. They sound irritable.
Luckily the hostel I booked is lovely, a great introduction into being back on the road. Homey, a little higgledy and run by an elderly man who has lots of great quotes all over the place (I'll have to write some down).
As soon as I arrived I dumped my bags in my room and headed straight back out again on a mission to find food - things I'd been dreaming about on the island.
Dinner consisted of:
Toasted rye bread, avocado, tomato, goats cheese, olives and beetroot dip.
Heaven.
Getting an early night now as it was a late 3am grog session in Nadi last night, another one!
It was hard to say goodbye to a place where I have met so many fantastic, inspiring and wonderful people.
Vorovoro, the gentle nature of the place. Think about today and enjoy it. Laugh. Make others laugh. Run around in the rain and get wet. Pick a mango, passion fruit or paw paw. Stop, talk to people, share some grog. There is no hurry. Sit in a hammock. Relax.
Jenny you are a sister to my now, thank you for your wise words and strengthening my 'ness'. I'm going to miss you a lot!
Jone, Kini, Nemani, Tale, Pupu Epeli, Api, Penny, Bear, Erya, Tonya, the Family and so many more. Thank you for all the late night grog sessions, music, stories and good times.
From now on I have Pupu's wise words ringing in my ears, 'nothing is hard in this life'. Once you understand this you can let go of little frustrations and niggles, there might be a solution, an answer. Sometimes we try and force a decision before it is ready to be made.
Even though I felt sad about leaving I have come to understand that everything is OK. As Poasa said to me on the island, 'don't cry, you still have life. Fiji will always be here'.
It isn't the end, it's only the beginning. Exciting.
Monday we were excited to welcome 6 new tribe members onto the island, bringing much laughter, camp fires and a fancy dress party with a sustainable theme – costumes had to be made from natural materials found on the island. There were banana leaf butterflies, woven leaf crowns and coconut bras. An island party wouldn’t be an island party without these coconut accompaniments.
Tuesdays Sevusevu passed without a hitch and the village was looking beautiful after all the hard work the tribe put in raking and clearing the dead leaves from the borders and walkways.
On Wednesday our seventh tribe member arrived, getting stuck into island life from the start and he’s been fishing every day since.
It was also Tui Mali’s birthday on Wednesday so Jim and I went to visit him in Vuo taking some presents, a card made from a banana leaf and of course grog. I was taken aback with the beautiful location, stunning grounds and the caves under the escarpment which the house sits on. Tui Mali was really chuffed with the presents he received, signaling this by punching one hand into the other with a big grin and a loud ‘vinaka’.
Friday’s school trip was joyous creating much laughter, games and bright eyed excitement, and that was just the tribe members. The children had been looking forward to the visit as we hadn’t been able to go the previous week.
Saturday saw us celebrate with ‘Bula night’, a party where we all wore our sulu juba and bula shirts. The location was past the volleyball court, along the path and into a clearing looking out to sea. We had candles, marsh mellows, chocolate, stories and a great deal of laughter.
My time here as chief is drawing to a close and I feel privileged to have had this month on the island and unsurprisingly I’m still not sure if I’ll be able to leave any time soon.
Bula sia,
The weather here is on the turn. The sea is warming up, the sun is brighter and the rains are often lingering on the horizon. The sea changes colour from aquamarine to blue, blue to green, green to groggy brown and back to aquamarine all in the space of a couple of bilos on the beach.
On Monday we were invited to Naqai, where boat captain Api lives, for a soli and to celebrate Fiji Day. Each Matagali (family group) had their own decorated celebration area, music and cava and lots of different mekes were performed in the middle. We were settling into our grog, cake and chat when the heavens opened and tried to wash us away. Jone Robinson and Api were quick to the rescue, finding cane knives close at hand; they dug a trench around the celebration area to divert the water. Vinaka na quick thinking. The celebrations continued.
Tuesday saw sevusevu day, where Vilus our latest tribe member presented his kava and became the first Lithuanian on Vorovoro. Tui Mali was much impressed and invited Vilus, or Delusa as he became known, to help him garden the next day down in the village. They were busy all day, working in the hot sun and both agreed that the only way to finish a good days work of this nature would be around the grog bowl on the beach before Tui Mali had to leave.
Friday came and we headed to Ligalevu for the Schools Family Fun Day Soli. It was a day to celebrate; national library week, Fiji Day, Teachers and Diwali. There were speeches, songs, stories and laughter in the church hall as each year group presented their pieces. We were even treated to a fancy dress contest afterwards where Jim and I were the judges. We saw many of the boys dressed as girls, some of the girls dressed as boys and everything in between. We had a magical day.
On Saturday we all headed into town to visit Graham, our sawdust supplier, and have some drinks around his pool and catch up. We were all hesitant to step off the boat however before the dogs had been mollified and introduced to us, none more so than Jone and Tale, who were eyeing up the nearest tree to climb if needs must. After Graham’s we headed to AJ’s for Diwali celebrations.
Driving through Labasa I was amazed to see the number of lights which had been strung up outside most of the houses, it was like Christmas in the UK or America, but without the waving Santas or sleighs and a lot more fireworks happening all over the place.
We were treated to lots of delicious Indian sweets, curries and fireworks, which his 4 year old daughter was extremely excited about, even though it made me nervous to see her skipping around with a box of matches and a bag of fireworks!
We are really lucky to be able to visit so many different people and places and to feel so welcomed. Where else would you get such an all encompassing cultural experiences?
Vinaka vaka levu,
Marama Jessica
